People exceptionally talented in the Restorative theme are adept at dealing
with problems. They are good at figuring out what is wrong and resolving it.
CliftonStrengths
This week, our guest blogger is Christian Warneke. Christian
has been a mentor in the Omaha Catholic chapter since fall of 2014. He has been
a strengths-based mentor since 2016. His top 5 are Restorative, Positivity,
Woo, Individualization, and Includer. Here’s what Restorative looks like for
Christian:
Four words and funny YouTube videos. Sometimes four words, maybe even
fewer, or a quick YouTube video, are all you need to change someone’s day.
We’ll get to this later.
A favorite quote and life motto, of sorts, I’ve followed for the last
decade come from Sir James M. Barrie, the playwright who brought Peter Pan to life. “Those who bring
sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves,” he said.
This is what Restorative means to me: doing what I can to improve people’s days.
Gallup’s definition words this differently, explaining a restorative
person likes to solve problems. When approached to share some thoughts on my #1
strength, the problem-solver jumped to action. Why not enlist my mentee to ease
the load. I promise, his thoughts are far more interesting anyways.
Last year, my mentee, who is now a freshman in high school, and I both
took our strengths assesments:
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As we sat together, listening to Allyson explain the meaning behind our
strengths, she issued us a challenge: use your strengths to make sure each
other is using his.
I asked my mentee how he thought his strengths related to mine and how he
used his on a daily basis. We agreed that dependability related most closely to
restorative. My mentee noted that he’s needed to use this strength even more
lately. “My grandma and
sister have been sick lately. I’ve been getting my homework done and my jobs
done. The past few days I’ve been doing several extra chores.” For a young man
of 15, my mentee often blows me away with how insightful he can be. After
mentioning taking on increased responsibilities at home, he added “to be
dependable to those around you, you have to be confident in who you are and
what your role is.”
As our
conversation continued, I told my mentee, “The most important meaning of
restorative for me is trying to make sure others are happy, and doing what I
can to help make sure they are.” Our conversation, I asked my mentee how he
would try to cheer me up on days he could tell I was upset or stressed. His
response: “I show you funny videos.”
Looking back at
this conversation now, the other four strengths in my top five make sense.
Of my remaining top four, Individualization may the most important to pair
with Restorative. Every individual has their own struggles. No two are the
same. Similarly, solutions will vary from person to person. There are also
times when solving the problem may not be the best solution. We’ve all had
those visits with our mentees during which our mentees seem down in the dumps
for whatever reason, be it a poor test grade, troubles at home, or issues with
other students. Our hearts break for our mentees and we want to do whatever we
can to make it right. That’s not our job though. Our job is to serve as that
support structure so that our mentees are in a position to tackle life’s
obstacles themselves. Recently, my mentee has had a few of these days. These
days cause some temporary blows to his usual confidence. From this, a new
ritual has arisen. As we end our session for the week, I ask him a question
using the same four words, “[Mentee], who’s the man?” After I repeat the
question a few times, he replies, bashfully and humbly, “I am,” with a smile on
his face.
Sometimes four words, or a cat video, have the power to improve the day
for our mentees or for ourselves. Problem solved.
-Christian
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