People exceptionally talented in the Includer theme accept others. They show awareness of those who feel left out and make an effort to include them.
People who have high Includer have a sixth sense for exclusion. They naturally can see and feel when someone is not included; even if someone is sitting in a circle, they can tell if that person feels included or not. This talent doesn’t just come with the ability to feel exclusion, but also have the need to eradicate it. Includers take action when they see this happening, so that everyone they encounter feels like they are a person know is known and seen. They naturally want to expand the horizons of what others may deem a “group.” They constantly want to make their circle larger by bringing more people in, not for the purpose of more connections, but to avoid exclusivity.
As we know, often times a certain strength can be confused with another when observing a person due to the similar output of the strength. Because of the nature of Includer, it can often times be mistaken for Empathy or even Woo. Like Empathy, Includers can feel what others feel, but this is limited to a certain feeling: exclusion or inclusion. Like Woo, Includers have a larger social circle, but not because of the thrill of meeting new people, but the knowledge of what someone will feel if they are excluded. Gallup writes, “their thoughtful approach to others not only increases participation and communication as they ensure everyone is considered, but it also brings a level of tolerance and acceptance of diversity.” Those with high Includer value others for their innate humanness, rather than assess their value based on an external characteristic. Consequently, mature Includers are often a very warm presence, making each person valued, thereby, setting them apart from other strengths that may manifest similarly.
To incorporate strengths-based conversations into your mentoring relationship, consider discussing the follow questions with your mentee:
- Who, have you helped become a part of a group lately?
- How have you helped someone feel as though they are a part of a group in the past few weeks?
- How can you better include people in your daily life and activities?
- What is it about the differences between people that interests you?