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A Look at Restorative


People exceptionally talented in the Restorative theme are adept at dealing with problems. They are good at figuring out what is wrong and resolving it.   
CliftonStrengths

This week, our guest blogger is Christian Warneke. Christian has been a mentor in the Omaha Catholic chapter since fall of 2014. He has been a strengths-based mentor since 2016. His top 5 are Restorative, Positivity, Woo, Individualization, and Includer. Here’s what Restorative looks like for Christian:




Four words and funny YouTube videos. Sometimes four words, maybe even fewer, or a quick YouTube video, are all you need to change someone’s day. We’ll get to this later.

A favorite quote and life motto, of sorts, I’ve followed for the last decade come from Sir James M. Barrie, the playwright who brought Peter Pan to life. “Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves,” he said. This is what Restorative means to me: doing what I can to improve people’s days.

Gallup’s definition words this differently, explaining a restorative person likes to solve problems. When approached to share some thoughts on my #1 strength, the problem-solver jumped to action. Why not enlist my mentee to ease the load. I promise, his thoughts are far more interesting anyways.

Last year, my mentee, who is now a freshman in high school, and I both took our strengths assesments:



     


As we sat together, listening to Allyson explain the meaning behind our strengths, she issued us a challenge: use your strengths to make sure each other is using his.

I asked my mentee how he thought his strengths related to mine and how he used his on a daily basis. We agreed that dependability related most closely to restorative. My mentee noted that he’s needed to use this strength even more lately. “My grandma and sister have been sick lately. I’ve been getting my homework done and my jobs done. The past few days I’ve been doing several extra chores.” For a young man of 15, my mentee often blows me away with how insightful he can be. After mentioning taking on increased responsibilities at home, he added “to be dependable to those around you, you have to be confident in who you are and what your role is.”

As our conversation continued, I told my mentee, “The most important meaning of restorative for me is trying to make sure others are happy, and doing what I can to help make sure they are.” Our conversation, I asked my mentee how he would try to cheer me up on days he could tell I was upset or stressed. His response: “I show you funny videos.”

Looking back at this conversation now, the other four strengths in my top five make sense.

Of my remaining top four, Individualization may the most important to pair with Restorative. Every individual has their own struggles. No two are the same. Similarly, solutions will vary from person to person. There are also times when solving the problem may not be the best solution. We’ve all had those visits with our mentees during which our mentees seem down in the dumps for whatever reason, be it a poor test grade, troubles at home, or issues with other students. Our hearts break for our mentees and we want to do whatever we can to make it right. That’s not our job though. Our job is to serve as that support structure so that our mentees are in a position to tackle life’s obstacles themselves. Recently, my mentee has had a few of these days. These days cause some temporary blows to his usual confidence. From this, a new ritual has arisen. As we end our session for the week, I ask him a question using the same four words, “[Mentee], who’s the man?” After I repeat the question a few times, he replies, bashfully and humbly, “I am,” with a smile on his face.

Sometimes four words, or a cat video, have the power to improve the day for our mentees or for ourselves. Problem solved.
 -Christian

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