If your mentee or a student that you know has the
strength of Competing in their top 3 – they might describe themselves like
this:
You see many things
in life as a game, and you feel great joy when you win. You truly hate to lose
because you are always striving for first place. Every day you compete. Winning
first place is your goal in any contest that you feel is worth your time. If
there is no one to compete against, you compete against yourself to do more or
accomplish a goal faster or better. You can be competing against someone else
even when that person doesn’t know it. Because you hate to lose, you might get
angry, upset, or even cry. It does not matter if others think the contest is
important. If you are doing it, you want to be number one. Others look to you
for the motivation to win.
As a mom, I am quite familiar with this strength as my
son Shaun was born with it. When he took
Strengths Explorer as a 5th grader, Competing was his top strength
and when he took StrengthsQuest as a freshman in high school, Competition is
his number one strength. I believe we
first recognized this strength in Shaun as a toddler when he wanted to win
games of “Duck Duck Goose” at daycare.
Often our evening dinnertime conversation included the best part of his
day which was, consistently, “Winning”.
That continues to be the best part of Shaun’s day – when
he has the opportunity to compete, and even better, when he wins. I have watched this strength develop over the
years through his self -awareness in different sports, activities, even
academics. I’ve also been fortunate to
witness many mentors and positive adults in his life honoring and encouraging
that strength’s development.
When Shaun broke his wrist during his last year of youth
football league, he was devastated; inconsolable really. I was struggling to find ways to cheer him up
or give him something to look forward to – his joy was in that football game,
he was honored to be a team captain, and plain angry that an accident had taken
the season from him.
We were lucky.
Shaun had incredible coaches who not only recognized and understood how
hard this was on him, but they honored his competing strength by asking him to
be an assistant coach. He could help
call plays from the sidelines, shout encouragement to his teammates, and be
involved right there at each game. Shaun
did not miss a practice, even with his hand in a cast – he worked out with the
team and was proud of their season.
We encouraged other competitions at home – could he make
his bed faster than his sister, even with a cast on his arm? Could he get a better grade on a spelling
test than he did the previous week?
Competing doesn’t always mean competing with others, it also is a competition
with yourself. We saw that part of Shaun
shine – his grades went up, and he loved daily games with his sister, and
beating his mom at scrabble on a regular basis.
Sometimes Competing gets a bad rap, assuming it’s a “WIN
OR NOTHING!” attitude or a desire to take others down to have the win, or win
at all costs. It’s a driving motivator
for my son, and many other students who lead with this strength. It’s been a growth mindset tool, because
students with competition understand that losses do happen. It helps us all be better than we were
yesterday, and learn the importance of being a team player.
Ally
Comments
Post a Comment